mid-semester rebrand ★

           energy i'm channeling after whatever yesterday was

hiii everybody!! yesterday was something else. remember the dreaded chemistry exam and calculus quiz? well i did great on the calc, but the chem: you don't even want to know. first of all, my professor is literally satan: she is infamous for how awful her class is, and this reputation came long before her ai generated lectures where you teach yourself at home and come into class to do the homework. 

 
in theory, that idea is great: you get more time to practice the material with tas that will actually help you when you get stuck so you don't just look things up. but no. in real life, the ta's show you chatgpt on their phone explaining it to them since they don't know how to do the nonsensical problems either. you are encouraged to look it up because the tas don't know anything either!!! and they get paid to know this!!! it gets worse though.

on tuesday, i studied at this mini cute library for probably four hours before coming back to my dorm to study some more. i didn't realize until probably 11 o'clock that my phone was nowhere to be found: of course, i left it in the one library on campus with the most ridiculous, random hours. so what did i do?

i woke up at 7am the next morning so i could beg the janitor before my class to unlock the library so i could grab my phone. funnily enough, you could hear my dozens of alarms going off from between the couch cushions through the glass windows. the library is super weird because it's in another building and it's just a little room, but entirely surrounded by glass: like the people inside are animals on display at the zoo. 

thankfully the janitor was super nice and helped me out, so i went to the dining hall for breakfast and walked to my neuroscience class. that class was enjoyable, but i spent most of it studying for my upcoming chem test. right after, i walked to the chem building where the people walking out from the test before me had tears streaming down their faces. okay awesome great sign!!!!!!

thank god i didn't even finish in time, left half of it blank, and also ended up with tear stains on every page of the exam. it almost ruined my whole day, but i heard a bunch of other people that i thought were smarter than me complaining so it made me feel better. but i studied so hard!!! that's the worst part. the format was just totally different than anything we'd ever done and there was no time!

the rest of the day, i watched the nightmare before christmas, went to an event about halloween costumes and wrote an article about it for the newspaper (check it out soon), and then something even WORSE happened. how could that even be possible?

in our groupme, one of the tas for the class sent out an announcement saying that due to all the complaints, he took the exam, did it in half the time, and got an 85. he said the test is easier than he expected and basically, we are all idiots for complaining and doing poorly. mind you, the class average was a 52 across all sections. does that not tell you, the teacher, something? and oh, thank god the ta could do it in half the time and get a B. am i supposed to be impressed? you should get a PERFECT SCORE if you are getting PAID to teach this to me!!!!!!!!! this is honestly embarrassing for you!!!

that is literally like if i was a teacher and took a fourth grade test and told all the kids they were idiots because they failed. like omg i hope i do better than a fourth grader. that says something about my teaching.

big big rant to say it's time for a new me. despite my hours of studying that were seemingly pointless, i have to take part two of that exam on monday yay awesome i can't wait. and i have a calculus exam on thursday as well!!!! i'm honestly going to study more for the calculus because at least there's a chance for me doing well on that. there is no hope for chemistry with this professor. she teaches chem 2 as well and everyone says it's somehow even worse, so i'm going to try and take it at the community college nextdoor.

on a brighter note, i just applied to study abroad in Italy this summer! fingers crossed i get it, it's kind of competitive. so this is what i've been doing, i have soooo many good ideas coming soon though. my padme costume is coming along nicely i'm soooo scared to dye it though eekkkkkkk. going to chilis with my boyf tonight because i need a break, also i need to go to best buy to fix my wonderful g7x that stopped opening. okay love you guys talk more soon!